Tradition

Tonight we did something we do every year.....visit the Opryland Hotel.

It is awesome!!!

We got there just in time for the water show.

It is just like when the fireworks show is done to music on the fourth of July - only this is the Christmas story with Christmas music done to a water display.

Again - Awesome!!!

The water was so high in the air we had to lean back to see it!

How would you like to have that Christmas tree in your living room!!!

Tyler would.....hee hee

This is the closest we will get to a white Christmas here in Tennessee.....it will just have to do.

"For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord"

Luke 2:11

Is He enough?

I have always wondered why God would place the desire in my heart so strong to have children and then not let me have them naturally. Anyone else struggle with something like that?

I am just realizing that the desire to have children has been stronger than my desire for a relationship with Him. That is where I have been going wrong. God wants us to have the desires of our hearts but not at the expense of loving Him. What good is it for Him to spoil us? We see with our own eyes what it does to our children - they become ungrateful, selfish, self centered little terrors. Why would I think that just because I want children that He would just give them to me? Selfishness. I have turned into that spoiled, selfish brat that I tried not to raise myself!

My last post was a bit of venting but really it was just me throwing a tantrum. I was reminded last night by my dear friend that it is NOT in my timing but His. We do not know what His plans are for us but He isn't surprised by any of it.

I have been feeling the doors closing all around us about this adoption. I just felt like we were pushing something through that we wanted and not really taking the time to see what He wanted. I have all but given up hope of adding to our family. Some days I am ok and then others it just brings me to tears. I know it won't happen again like it did the first time - that was a miracle. I just know that there are so many children right here in this country that need homes. They need mommies and daddies that wont hurt them. They need love.

Today we got another call from the social worker. This time it was for a potential placement. Right now I am just praying that the right family be found for this little boy. It may not end up being us and that is ok as long as he gets a forever family - soon. Everyday that passes is another that he is an orphan and that breaks my heart more than anything. So if you are reading this just stop and pray right now that this little boy will get his forever family soon.

Right now I am working on making God enough because I know without Him nothing is possible.

Mad and Confused!

I'm Mad.

I got that call today from the social worker. Just to let us know that we need to be less restrictive on what we are willing to do.

Excuse me? You want me to be less restrictive?

I already said that I don't expect a baby,
I already said that gender doesn't matter,
I already said that race is not an issue.

But I am still too picky?

HELLO! It's like we are standing with our arms open wide and no body is paying attention!

We decided that we have to protect our family so we are refusing to take emergency placements. These are children that have just been taken out of their homes. The only reason is because we have an 8 year old that we HAVE to protect. We don't know what issues these children have and we are not willing to risk bringing something into our home that will harm our one and only child. For this we are being too picky? I don't think so - for this we are being good parents! Just what the foster system says they need. Right?

Keep praying for us. We are feeling very defeated right now and just don't see any positive things happening for this adoption process. We are going to stick to our guns and not give in to pressures that will potentially harm our family. We feel like we are doing the right thing but we don't want to miss the chance for more children.

Silence

I have nothing to report about our adoption other than I have left three messages this week with our social worker and have yet to hear back from him. I am really trying not to be discouraged. Really. Trying. Hard. Some days you just want some news you know? Any sort of news. The silence is what I don't like.

Over the last few weeks I have been doing Beth Moore's "A Heart Like His" Bible study. In this I have learned that just because He calls us to do something doesn't mean He is going to make the path smooth. He may make a few bumps along the way. The silence is my bump.

During this time of silence some good news from my friend came. They have decided to adopt too! They are going to be adopting internationally and need a little help. I have posted a button to the right that will link you to their blog where you can read about how they came to the decision to adopt. You can also see some Christmas Card designs that she has created for you to purchase. Go check it out!

I am praying that my silence isn't going to last much longer. The holiday's are coming and I was really hoping that we would have a house full of children this year. I have to be a better listener!

halloween 2009

I know they are late but here are our pictures from this year!

I am not a big fan of the skeleton - however it isn't Spiderman so I caved.

The blood I could do without but apparently it is what makes this costume so cool.

Boys.

We had to take the mask off so we didn't scare our sweet little cousin Tinkerbell.....

who insisted on holding hands with Tyler all the way to our destination.

So cute!

We went around to our local church's that had different events - this one was a trunk or treat with different games.

They were trying to find a needle in a haystack - this took a while!

We had a great time going out trick or treating then we went back home and attempted to start a bonfire with wet wood. Wet wood don't burn. So instead we went inside and watched football - some college team was playing - can't remember who - something about orange?

Anyway - it was a great time with family!

Once in a lifetime....

We had a very rare treat at our Thunder practice this week.

Mike Smithson

He is a former major league baseball pitcher and he came to give the team some instruction on how to throw a ball correctly.

He played with the Rangers, Twins and Red Sox back in the 80's.

He is now the athletic director for one of our surrounding counties.

It. Was. Awesome.

He went over the basics - because sometimes you just need to go back to these every once in a while. He showed them the best way to hold the ball to make it go straight.

He watched as they played long toss.....

Then he did individual instruction for each player.

It's all about the mechanics.

Tyler has great mechanics - Mike said so.

Tyler's only problem is his release. He doesn't always release in the same spot so his balls are not always strikes.

What did Mike say about this?

"With mechanics like that why are you throwing strikes? Throw me a strike right now."

And he did. Not once, not twice but three in a row.

Hopefully we can carry that onto the field in our next game.

Now I think this was the moment that Charlie had been waiting for ever since he knew Mike was coming.....just to meet him.

He turned into that little boy all over again. The one holding the baseball card waiting for an autograph. It was funny to see Charlie so enamoured with a baseball player!

Had to get my actual 8 year old in a picture too!

Mike brought something with him that they may never get to hold again.....his world series ring that he won while playing for the Twins. It was huge! I am not sure Tyler even realized what he has on his finger right there - but it could probably pay for our house.

Then every little boys dream - an autographed baseball card!

A great practice with a great player....

Crown

Today marked a day in the history of dental bliss for Tyler.

He had to get his first crown.

To say he was obsessed about this day would be an understatement. Tyler likes to know everything. He doesn't like surprises, he isn't comfortable with the unknown and he really hates needles.

As much as I could explain to him about what was going to happen I did. He just wanted to fall asleep for the whole thing and he hoped the "silly juice" would do that for him. He tried - oh did he try to fall asleep.

In the waiting room.

When all of his attempts of yawning, laying down and closing his eyes didn't work he finally gave in to the aspect of being awake for the procedure. I explained again how he would not feel anything. The dentist had a special gel that he puts on your gums that makes it completely numb.

"I won't feel it even if I am awake?"

"No"

"Oooooooo - OK, I am going to go play video games now."

You could have heard my exhausted sigh a mile away.

One thing I hated most about today is the terrible mood this "silly juice" put him in. He was not MY Tyler at. all. The good thing - if he EVER tries any sort of illegal substance - I will know - his bad attitude will be evidence enough for me!

Glad it is over and now he has a shiny new silver cap to show for all of his pain and suffering.

Fall Baseball

Since the end of our summer tournaments, we as a team decided to play less competitive recreational baseball for the fall season. This decision was a hard one. After being so competitive and playing "real" baseball it was hard to go back to the mentality of "it's just for fun". Fall Recreational Baseball is to learn the fundamentals. Our head coach decided that we as a team needed to learn some of the fundamentals of the next level of baseball - kid pitch. None of our kids have ever pitched or been pitched to by another kid so we did have some learning to do. Still - being with kids that are just there to have fun is really hard for a mom like me who wants to WIN!

Tyler is getting lots of needed experience catching and dong a great job as usual.

This was him daring someone to steal home.

getting a wild pitch - that happens a lot.
Bunting is a fairly new thing for our kids too. We were allowed to bunt over the summer but never quite had the situation where we needed to. Now we can practice it during a live game because after all - we are just having fun right?Stealing home is so exciting. Both of them are looking to the ump for the call......SAFE!
Oh yes that is my boy!

Now the tough part - pitching. He has the basic steps down but in the heat of the game and when your team is down 8-0 and all of the pressure is on YOUR shoulders - not a good combo. He tried so hard but just kept pitching the ball high. He did strike one player out but that wasn't good enough for him. If he doesn't strike them all out in a row he feels like he did terribly. He holds a high standard for himself.

We ended up losing this game - no surprise there - but we are learning some basic fundamentals without the competitive pressures.

The call

We finally got the call we have been waiting for.....Home Study is approved! Only 5 months longer than we expected that to take but oh well. Not much you can do about it so why get upset. I have to say that I have been at peace through this entire process.

Whenever people ask me how it is going they always say "you must be so anxious"
But you know - I am not.
I am just at peace.
I know that God has a perfect plan for how this is all going to happen. He already knows the time and place that I will come to know my new children. He is preparing their hearts for us and our hearts for them. I pray for that every day. I just want them to know that we love them no matter what they have been through.

Now this isn't to say that I don't get excited about the possibility of having a little girl. One that I can buy dresses for and put ribbons in her hair. One that will just melt my heart when I look into her eyes. Or another boy full of life. One that loves to play hard and get dirty. One that will become a best brother for Tyler.
I get very excited for these things. But then I have to remember - it isn't up to me. I have no say in any of it. It has all been laid out for me and I am just walking the life that God planned. I sure wish I had listened to His call a lot sooner. Who knows how many kids we would have!

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us through this - keep it up - we are not done yet.

Labor Free Weekend

We haven't been to the Zoo in a while so we decided to go visit our local wild animals over the long holiday weekend.

They have some new ones running wild!

Tyler always enjoys the areas where you get to be hands on with the animals......Daddy however is just looking for the hand sanitizer.


He was so excited to catch a little tiny leaf....why? No idea.

The last time we were at the zoo this exhibit was under construction....now we get to touch a real alligator skull! Cool!

Always a favorite....becoming part of the Meerkat world.

To end our day we went to the play area. After completely wearing himself out with all of the slides, climbing, crawling and running he had to cool off with the sprinkler.

Perfect.

Gotta love a day enjoying all of God's creations.

The Fair

Last night we attended our local fair. We are never quite sure if these sorts of events are really worth the money to get in because Tyler was gun shy of going on any rides. He didn't like things that spun or went high or were fast. That is pretty much any ride at the fair.

Well once again he surprised us......

He rode this ride at least 7 times if not more....we got our money's worth from the bob cars alone.

This was the only ride he would get on last year and he loved it again this year.

The flying was a new experience for him and at first he was not quite sure about it...his face was in panic mode until just about the end of the ride. Then the smile of approval. He just has to know what it does then he is ok.

Daddy's favorite part of any fair is the animals so we forced Tyler to take a break from his daredevil riding to enjoy some of God's creatures. This camel was definitely the bully of the group. He was able to run around the outer circle with all of the other little goats and lama's and baby calf's. He never said excuse me and he would trample over anyone to get to the carrots...he loved carrots.

Over all a great time was had by all....until next year.

Budding Artist

Tyler's latest masterpiece

Responsible

Responsible: adjective; answerable or accountable as for something within ones power, control, or management.

This word definitely does not describe Tyler.

I don't know what it is but he just can't quite grasp the true meaning of it.

Here is just a glimpse of what I deal with....

1. Takes Daddy's silver dollar for show and tell at school and loses it.


2. Gets a brand new hat for his baseball team and leaves it at the Chinese restaurant.


3. Leaves his Bible at church week after week.


4. Owns two belts and NEVER knows where they are when it is time to get ready for school.


5. Has three jackets so that at some point we can at least find one of them.


6. Leaves his PSP in his grandparents car and they can't find it for a year.

This is just a short list of the things he does to drive me crazy.

This isn't good because school started this week and he has a responsibility chart that comes home every day. Great.

Fourth day of school - already got a mark - NRH (not returning homework)

HHMMMM?

I distinctly remember asking him everyday if he had any homework and every day I got "nope".

Then the chart comes home. He suddenly remembers. Definitions - that was his homework. So I added one word - responsible.

Catch up!

Our summer is officially over with the start of school. Here is our official first day picture.

I hope to get a lot more time this year in his actual classroom as a volunteer. Last years teacher didn't really like parents in the classroom so my hopes and dreams of seeing him through 2nd grade as a room mom where quickly demolished. So my first question to the teacher this year was not about anything other than when do I get to come and help? Luckily she doesn't have the same phobia of moms in classrooms as last years teacher so I hope to be doing a lot of classroom help. Careful what I wish for I know. So anyway how was the very first full day of 3rd grade - "OK". That is all we get these days for just about any question. He likes his new school, his new teacher and his new friends. All is good in the school world. Except they told him his shirt was the wrong shade of green - the list called for shamrock green - you show me your version of it and I show you mine. He is wearing this shirt - I bought it. Nuf said.

So with the beginning of school we look back on our summer. What did we do? Well......

We played baseball. Lots of baseball.

We formed the team the Franklin Thunder an 8U tournament team. We learned a lot this summer. Not just about baseball but about commitment, effort and earning your right to play. Some of these lessons were very hard to learn but they will never be forgotten - I promise. The team did well during each tournament - always ended up in the top 3 seeds but for some reason we could never pull it out for the big game when we needed to. We did walk away with one 2nd place that really meant something. We are the 2009 Cal Ripken 8U State Runner Ups. We almost got to go to Florida to play in the Regionals.....maybe next year~

We also learned that Tyler can swim.....

Not just swim but jump off of a diving board and come back up swim.

I can't even do that. I tried once when I was about his age. My parents enrolled me in swimming lessons at the local YMCA. I went for one day. The instructor threw some diving toys into the pool and said go under and get them. I said no. He said it again and I again said no. He then put his hand on the top of my head and pushed me under. I never went back and to this day I am afraid of water. Thanks YMCA swim instructor.

Charlie and I didn't know he could do this until AFTER he did it. I know - what kind of parents let their child jump off of a diving board that aren't 100% sure he will resurface? US that's who. Charlie was ready to jump in and save him if need be - fully clothed mind you. But that was just not necessary because my boy knows how to swim.

We vacationed.......

We took one very short mini vacation this summer to a local lake. It was the most relaxing time we have had in a very long time. There was no T.V., no internet, no nothin and we just soaked it all in. This trip came about because Papa had promised Tyler a fishing trip earlier in the summer. The day they were to go we got scheduled to play in a tournament so we had to cancel. That really was a bummer for both Tyler and Papa. So Papa did some research and some digging and found that you could rent cabins at a nearby lake. So he did. It was originally going to be just Mimi, Papa and Tyler on a weekend fishing trip but it soon turned into a family getaway. We played games, ate, fished, ate, walked, ate, talked, ate, swam, ate, then ate some more. I think in the entire 3 days there we had two full meals. The rest was pure snackin - and it was good! It really made us spend some much needed quality time together and away from the hustle and bustle of everything else. We promised Tyler some more times like this and now every Friday night is game night. It really did our family good.

To end the summer we went to Vacation Bible School. As a child this was my favorite part of church. Every summer we would go and have so much fun learning God's word. I am so happy that my son loves it just as much as I do. He had baseball practice two of the 5 nights and he made daddy promise to bring him to church as soon as he could so he wouldn't have to miss it all. He is already shaping up into a man of God. I can't wait to see what his future holds.

I also started a clothes closet to help those families that are having hard times. I have had donations pouring in and that in itself is amazing. I didn't think I would have so much just given to me. I am so blessed to be used as a part of Sharing Life Ministries in this way. I can't wait to see how many families this will bless!

So that is our summer of 2009.

It went by way to fast but we have a lot of memories to hold onto from it.

Can you help?

I don't know how many people actually read this thing but if you are one of them please see if you can help!

My Dad started a counseling ministry a few months ago. Their grand opening was a few weeks ago and when I was there I listened to some of the staff talk about who they are ministering to. It is mostly single mothers, people struggling financially or just families down on their luck. I immediately thought "how can I help?" I am not so good at the counseling thing - I barely speak now to people I don't know for crying out loud. My heart still cried out so I just asked if they ever thought of doing a clothes closet where these families could go and get some desperately needed items for free. They all thought it would be a great addition to their ministry so here I go........I NEED DONATIONS!!! I have kept most of Tyler's clothing over the years just waiting to see if more children would come along. Even though I know there will be more in our near future I am going to donate these bags and bags of clothes to this cause. I know that there is a family out there that will need them more now than I will. They are not doing anyone any good just sitting in my attic. So in between work, baseball, family, church and life I will be organizing this new found mission of mine. I love to give back and I can't wait to be the hands and feet of Jesus to these families! Won't you join me?

Franklin Thunder 8U TN State Runner Up

We did it!

We made it to the TN State Championship game today!

We are the official 8U Cal Ripken TN State Runner Ups!

Tyler played catcher and right center in the games.....He didn't get as much playing time as he would have liked but when the coach called on him he did his thing.

Proud coach and player!

Waiting for the trophy ceremony to begin....

They played hard over the last few days to get here today. We defeated the reigning District Champions in a game yesterday 17 -10 that required two rain delays. We beat the 3rd best team in the district today in extra innings 10 - 9.
We were tired and hot but we definately earned our place out there. The final score for the championship game was 18 - 2. We really gave it all we had after just ending an extra inning game in the heat of TN.
Go Thunder!