Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Why am I so blue?

I have been in a slump! Can't really explain what I am feeling just that I am feeling out of sorts.
A few things have been on my mind.
My son is about to enter 2nd grade and I just can't believe that is possible. Then I start to panic - is he ready, does he know what he needs to, what do I need to cram in his little brain the two weeks before school starts so he is ready? He isn't at all ready for this. Last year was his first year at public school. We LOVED the school he was in before but circumstances happened and I had to get a job. We needed the job to help pay for this school and had everything worked out and then our "ride" decided to home school. Good for her but bad for us. The school is about a 30 minute drive in the opposite direction of my new job. The timing was never going to work for me to get him to or from school. I was devastated. I think I still am because it is about the same time last year that this all went down. We had to withdraw him from the old school and enroll him in the new school within a 2 day period. We tried to explain it to Tyler the best we could but his first question was what about my friends.....that did it. I think I cried for 3 days. Even the secretary in the new school could tell how upset I was over this whole thing and tried to give me a pep talk. Sweet but she had no idea. We always want to do the best for him and I felt like we were letting him down. I still go on the website for the old school and sit and hope that someday he can go back there.
Another thing that has been consuming me is the new dress code for our school. I am not opposed to a dress code - I think it is a great idea especially as kids get older. The problem I have is finding pants/shorts that fit. We have had a growth spurt lets just say and now need to shop in the husky section. Problem is there is no husky section in ANY store. I have had to do all of my back to school shopping online. It has all been by trial and error that we finally found the brand and size that fits the best - 3 tries later. So thank you Gap, thank you.
I also am trying to figure out how I can be more active with school and work full time. I am feeling really guilty at not spending enough time at school. I should know more of the faculty there. I want to know who is getting my son out of my car in the line. I want to know what goes on during the day. I want to be an involved parent! How do you do that and work? My dilema.
I also am getting ready for the fall to start back with our Wednesday night programming at church. Organizing people, getting curriculum's in order, making phone calls, printing pictures. All in my spare time of course. I love the little preschoolers and really have a heart to be around them. I just get sad that none of them are mine. We are working on that though.....that is for another day.
Mimi B has been here and has been very sick so far the entire visit. She usually gets a cough just from the change from Boston weather to here but this visit it has been really bad. She feels bad she is sick but can't do anything about it. The nights are the worst for her so pray for healing so she can enjoy some of her time with us. We don't get to see her very often so we feel a little robbed of our time with her.
So maybe all of this combined is just getting to me.
Prayers needed.

2 comments:

Shawn said...

Prayed for ya, just now.

Tabitha said...

Oh girl, I had not idea you were so blue. And hello??? I'm supposed to be helping you with Team Kid so tell me what you need me to do!! I'm on maternity leave for the next 6 weeks remember. Ok, going to pray now. Love ya sista!